Reality Check

                                                     

 Living In The Now

Fall Garden Image

Like most I live in the now
relying on information
from the past.
My relationships with
persons, places and things
are conditioned
by my memories of past
experiences.
In this way I habitually
ignore current reality
which is always new.

Werner H. Erhard of EST fame talked about being present when he said that after reading the menu we eat what is served not knowing what we are eating because we are eating what we read on the menu, not the meal. In relationships we assume we love someone because we have realized at some point that we do. But in the present we don’t feel love, we just know it’s there. Like looking into someone’s face and not 

seeing it in the now, we only see and know the past.

Flower and Fork

A striking example took place after writing most of this blog. One of my neighbors shaved his Van Dyke style facial hair so he was clean shaven. He has lived among and become a member of this community for the past 8 years and every one of his neighbors knows him wearing a goatee and mustache.

Without these he looks very different, younger and more energetic. I've watched as those he is talking with, looking him right in the face, do not notice the change in his appearance. This is what I mean by responding to others from memories, not from the reality of  now.  

Potted Plant on Patio

As I look at my relationships and what is actually happening in them i.e. Reality, I see some of my friendships and family relationships are not growing, or even interesting, but… rather stagnate. There is no personal sharing, no shared experience when we don’t have the time for that to happen.

Maybe this is part of the Face Book era. One need only click with the computer mouse and one has friends. I've read where people defend their online friendships as real and meaningful. Maybe so or maybe this kind of friendship is all they know.

Morning Red Rose

So after a reality check, I know that in my old age I want more than to interact from a past perspective or memories. I want more than virtual friends.

I want dynamic relationships in the now, relationships that are growing and interesting, be they family or friends. I want to listen and actually hear others, I want to see them clearly, as they are now, not slide some old picture in front of my eyes and stare at that while trying to relate to who this person is today.

And Loving What Is